Thoughts of an Angel

My Pocket Babe entry today talked about what traits to look for in a man. If you could pick ONE trait only, that you love about your partner, or that your “perfect partner” has to have, what would it be? I think this is a tough one as my partner has so many good qualities, but one of the things that I love soooo much about him, and I think the one thing that I would always want in a partner, is their ability to make me laugh.

There is nothing more medicinal than a good laugh from the core. He makes me laugh so much that my face and stomach ache and my eyes water.

There are so many shallow and superficial people in this world - they find body or looks so important. Looks fade, body parts sag, skin wrinkles … time is going to change all of us. If your partner loves you through all of nature’s changes, tie them down fast and don’t let them get away.

Well clearly I don’t know what a good friend is. I was told last night that all I do is talk about my BF (that happens to be new) and that I am insensitive and that friendship is 2 sided and I don’t give. That was definitely a blow to me as I have done nothing but give my whole life. In fact giving so much of myself has bitten me back so many times and I have been hurt more than once.

 I think what hurts me is that when I needed a friend so badly a few weeks back the friend in question turned her back on me and was very insensitive.

We all have shit going on in our lives and we all need close friends, but friendships that require so much work are not real friendships. I should be able to talk to a friend about absolutely anything and everything, especially when she calls me her best friend, but it seems that some friends are just not that interested.

Anyway - right now I feel a bit hurt.

Think personality traits, not physical attributes and cash-flow projections.

Looking for a new man is akin to looking for a new party outfit. Head off without knowing what you want and you’ll come back either with something that doesn’t sut you, or with nothing at all. Have a plan of action that includes details of the kind of man you’d like to date and why he’s perfect for you.

When something bad happens why is so hard to believe that it will be any different next time when the same signs show? I guess that’s where the trust thing has to come in.

Trusting the person when they tell you it’s different. Trusting the person when they assure you that things are not going to pan out the way they did before.

Over the last year I have gone through some very big changes … I moved away from friends and family, started a new life, and recently got a new BF. However, over time I have started to see that those so-called friends have not stayed in touch. In fact, when I think I needed them most, none of them were around…. I generally prefer to deal with things on my own as I have done for so long, however going through the lowest moments of my life I found out I had no choice but to do it on my own because I didn’t really have any friends . I haven’t done anything to make my friends not like me, and I certainly did not ever turn my backs on them … but I guess “out of sight, out of mind” and I have seen who my real friends are.

Those friends are the ones that email me or IM me at least 2 or 3 times a week. Those friends are the ones that have sent me cards, or flowers or little comforts in the mail to make my days easier … Those friends are the ones that check up on me every now and then, and actually take the time to think about me. Those friends are the ones that I know will be in my life forever (and they know who they are).

But this kind of thing really does not make trusting very easy. It’s not easy to trust people when they turn their backs on friendship.

It’s not what you look like that will get you a boyfriend; it’s what you do to find one !

Are you trying? It’s obvious advice, but moaning to your mates about being single, watching constant reruns of Sex and the City and making shopping your only hobby won’t land you a boyfriend (unless he sells shoes). Reality is the more fully formed attempts you make at meeting and dating me, the higher your chances of finding love.

I bought myself a new book the other day … a small, pink book, titled “Pocket Babe - Essential solutions to life’s little dilemmas”. It appealled to me at first because it was PINK, but flipping through the pages made it more appealling… Each page has very simple, to-the-point, piece of advice on general day-to-day “dilemmas”. I will post a page each day (or every 2 to 3 days). The author has written a few other books which I may try and get.

Welcome to my new blog … I have started so many blogs in the past, using many different providers and sites but none of them have really kept me interested and too many people in my “real” life have had access to them, which I have found caused me to hold back in many ways. This time I am not letting anyone know about my blog as I find too many are far too judgemental - sad actually !!  Don’t get me wrong - I don’t mind people reading my blog, and I look forward to making new friends, but I would prefer to keep certain parts of my life separate  … I am sure you understand.